Why Do You Travel? A Dialogue With Myself

When I first moved from my parents’ place, I was actually running away, even if I wouldn't admit it to myself. Away from a place I didn’t like, from bad memories I had there, from a family that didn’t understand me. But it’s much later that I realized it, through self-reflection.  

I felt into this trap again recently. I ran away from a place where I had had a very painful memory that my mind couldn't let go off. There was other factors that made me want to leave, but nothing unbearable. I just felt this urgent need and took this spontaneous decision in a few weeks and left. I moved to another country again for a few months. I was enjoying the place there, traveling and living a new experience, but something felt wrong and I had a lot of time to think… and self-reflect. Today I’m realizing that most of my travels where some kind of escape from a reality I wasn’t happy about. Running away from myself. I didn’t appreciate myself and thought ”in a totally new place, you can be someone totally new”.

But the truth is, there’s no escape from your own mind. Wherever you go, it travels with you. There’s no escape from yourself. If you do it for bad reasons, traveling can be an endless vicious circle. You cannot spend your whole life running away. Perhaps some people do, but they never find happiness. 

I have a long-term solo trip to Asia planned soon. Obviously, I need to make things clear with myself. 

-       Why do you travel ?

I travel to see the world. To meet its people. To experience. To learn.

-       But why?

To LIVE, to feel alive. To feel richer inside. To have incredible stories to tell my grand-children and adventures to remember always. To find love. And I don’t mean love as in a person. I mean love as infinite and unconditional. Feeling in harmony with my soul.

-       So why, finally?

To be happy.

-       But why can’t you be happy at home?

Home? You mean the place where I grew up? It’s not a place where I have ever felt really happy. Perhaps this is why I travel: to find home. To me, home isn’t a place, it’s a feeling.

-       You are contradicting yourself. You agree that home isn’t a place but a feeling, yet you keep moving and looking for it in different places. If home is a feeling, that means you can find it in the place where you grew up or where you are now. 

You’ve got a point. I travel to find something that is already in me. Yet, I feel most happy when I’m getting to know other cultures, traditions and people, and this is something that I can only experience while traveling. 

-       And that is a great experience, but what about getting to know yourself? Because if you rely on external experiences to make you happy, you will always be frustrated in the end. Everything in this world is temporary. You count on traveling, on experiences, on others, on little things, but they don’t last, as much as you repeat them. You must find your "home" inside. How? By finding love in yourself. How? By loving yourself. You are the only person that you will need to bear all your life. Your own company is precious and irremplacable. You must build « home » in yourself. It doesn’t have to be walls, but a strong base for stability and a solid roof for protection. How? By taking care of your body and mind. By spending time on your own and learning to appreciate it. By practising non-judgement, trust and patience towards yourself. By realizing self-love is your most important material to build that home feeling inside. Your body is a temple that needs to be honoured and your mind is a miracle because it is awareness. Celebrate them for they are your first home. Love your home. If you travel, travel to love your home.


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Taking The Leap // smoky mountains road-trip short film

At the beginning of the year, I promised myself to get out of my comfort zone by starting to make videos along with photos.
So here I am, manifesting my goal by pouring my energy into this video of my spring break road trip with some friends.

we are all blessed with a lifetime to become who we want to be, we just need to stop procrastinating and do it.



Over two and a half years ago I stepped onto a plane and moved country for the first time in my life, all by myself. I was 18, lost, messy, and just craving answers. I had no idea where this journey would take me but my heart was telling me that it was time to leave and to explore this planet to myself. 

I got lost and lost again in sad ways, beautiful ways, exciting ways, scary ways, sick ways and messy ways.. 

But today.. after 21 countries in not even 21 years, I can feel how my heart is nourished by places I have seen, people I have met, hearts I connected to, knowledge I have gained and love I have discovered. 


Traveling to me is the most precious gift life has to offer us in this day and age. 

So I want to share with you why I think traveling is the BEST thing you could ever do in your life. 



What I get to hear a lot is : „What you are only 20? You seem so much more mature.“ 

I do not tell you that to brag or whatever, but to tell you that I think sometimes I seem older and as if I had more life experience then my young 20 years because I pushed myself hard in many ways. 

Traveling was one of the biggest lesson-givers ever! 

When you get to decide everything yourself at the age of 18, because you are alone in a foreign country you need to take responsibility. 

When you are by yourself far away from home, do not know the language or a single person you do learn a lot about yourself. 

When you are sick and nobody is there to take care of you because everybody is a plane ride away, you learn to deal with shit. 

When all and everything you can trust is your gut feeling you learn what Intuition is and feels like and you learn how to connect with your heart to keep you safe and sound. 

YES, some or many of these experiences weren’t the most enjoyable at the time but looking back the hard times were there most enriching, as I got to learn things people my age would never do when they stay at home in their comfort zone. 



Since I was young, I never felt as If I belonged to the country I was born in. 

Since I was a child I craved travelling and going to France whenever, as my dad is from there. 

Feeling like the odd one out can make yourself question your self-worth and making you believe you are worth less than others, just because you are different. 

But I promise you:


and I promise you : in this world are 7.4 billion people and 195 countries - 

there is a place and there are humans just like you, that share the same love as you, the same passion as you, a place where you feel like you want to grow old and a place where people do not judge you for the decisions you take.  

Expanding your radius of life expands the abilities for you to explore and grow in yourself. 

There are always two choices in life: 

Accept what you can't change  OR  Change what you can't accept. 

So when you aren't happy in your life and the place you are in at this very moment.. There always is too choices. 

The hardest step is to buy the plane ticket but as soon as you start walking, you will feel the wind in your hair and you get the chance to be surprised by how beautiful the unknown is as soon as you get to know it and how there really is a place for everybody on this planet to be happy and feel like home. 

to see the other two reasons too please hop over here to my little loved blog

Mahalo xx 

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Reflections from Bali


I feel the reflection of the world on my skin as I  experience places I have never been. 

I feel the heat.

I heard the sounds. 

I see the light.

As the reflection hits me I choose to absorb.

I am becoming the heat.

I am becoming the sounds. 

I am the light.

You are the light. 

We are making up all the things we have an haven't been. We are more than we have been. We will be more than we are.

Constantly growing, evolving, 

we are spreading our wings, our words and our hearts. We are allowing ourselves to be introduced to the world in new and magical ways.

Our bodies say we've never been here before as our souls say

Welcome home.

What Hawaii Has Taught Me...

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I wanted this post to give you a somewhat update on my life. Right before I moved to Hawaii, I wrote a few blogs posts that were very raw. I poured my heart out onto the pages and you all responded with love. I had never felt so connected, this coming from someone who is still struggling with connecting with people. It was a beautiful experience and I felt cleansed in a way, free of all the negative energy that had been dwelling deep inside me, growing but never leaving. In that moment, I knew that writing was no longer my hobby, but my savior. I fought my fears with the keyboard, the pages of my journal and a pen.


When I arrived on island I felt myself withdraw from social media. It went from inspiring me, to running my life. I still believed in the power of social media, and the wonderful way it can connect us, but I just needed a break in order to get back to why I started in the first place. Instagram is just a creative outlet, it only portrays about 10% (maybe not even) of my real life. This blog was created to show you other parts of my life, things I struggle with. Real parts of me, so that maybe you can see yourself through me, through my words. When I left social media I forgot what I was writing for. I got so caught up in writing for an audience I stopped writing all together. Since I got here, so much has happened. Good and bad. This island has tested me many times already and there has been no creative outlet for me to release all of it and I just knew writing was missing. So here I am again, releasing everything.


The first thing Hawaii has taught me is we don't actually need all the things we think we do. Most things we claim to be “necessities” of life are actually just desires or privileges of living in the Western world. Most communities have everything we need in them and we don't actually need a vehicle. Even if the closest store is 30 to 45 minutes away walking, that's completely doable. We just don't want to walk 30 to 45 minutes to the store, which may be understandable but still doesn't make a car a necessity. When I first moved here I was forced for the first time to grocery shop and make it home with all the bags balancing on my bicycle handlebars. I walked 30 minutes to work, cursing the sun for the first time because it was making me overheat in my work clothes. One of my days off I was bored and didn't want to be home so I walked for 4 hours straight, with no real destination at all, just pure exploration. I now own a beat up little car that gets me around the island when I have somewhere I want to go, and it's a gem to me. I appreciate it so much more than I ever did when I had a car on the mainland.


Another thing it has taught me is we control everything that happens to us. This was hard for me to understand because I had always treated my problems as if they were something life was just doing to me and I had no choice in the matter. Something doesn't really become a problem unless we allow it to be. Life will constantly throw us different moments, and our reactions to those moments are what causes them to be good or bad. We can learn to control our reactions and how we choose to look at each moment. I stopped attaching “good” and “bad” to the things that were happening to me and instead started calling them lessons. I am now learning something from each moment in my life. I stopped labeling myself as well, and began to ask myself things like “Do you have depression, or does depression have you? Do you have anxiety or does anxiety have you? Before you react badly to this situation, did you cause it, and do you have the power to end it positively?” Things may happen out of our control but we can ALWAYS control how we react to it. After really practicing it, it gets so much easier with time. I am still learning.


Relationships of every kind take work. The most important relationship that needs to be handled first is the relationship we have with ourselves. Self love is the key to everything. The island can seem to isolate you in the beginning, your family is halfway across the world, all the friends you've made in your past are just as far, and you're left to just be with you. My first step was dealing with that isolation, spiritual growth is messy. Before being awakened yourself you may see it as this end to all suffering, this path of enlightenment that's filled with love, peace and understanding. Beauty from there on out. No. Spiritual and personal growth is messy. You meet yourself in a place you never thought you would, all of your issues are laid out for you and you feel them one by one. But then, you release them, and you forgive yourself. This is freedom. This is breaking the chains that you didn't even know you had. It's so wondrous, but not at all easy. All of this letting go and forgiving allows you to truly accept and love yourself for exactly who you are and where you are in this moment. Flaws and all. In doing this I could move onto my personal relationships with others. I am still working on all of this so instead of saying “I learned..” let's go with “I'm learning...”. I am learning how to listen to others with an open heart, and open mind, free of judgment. I am learning how to branch out and open myself up to people so that I can have a chance at good quality relationships. I am learning how to stop using my label I gave myself as an introvert as an excuse not to get out and meet friends. I am learning how to build a romantic relationship and a great friendship all in one with my significant other. I am learning how to balance time working on myself and time spent with my partner. I am breaking down walls, even if it's brick by brick and a not at all a quick process.


I have learned so much more in the time that I have spent here, but these are a few things I have found to be huge transformations in my life. I need to write. I crave to write. This is such a good outlet for me and I plan to share more and more on these pages.


If this never gets published or put out there by me, or read by anyone,


Dear me: I love you.


If 2 people read this...if a million people read this,


Dear all of you: I love you. Thank you for supporting my art & my heart.


Kindra Rae

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Source: http://kindrarae.com

The World

The world will be my office.

Rather than working at a desk, sending out emails and typing up progress reports, I will dance around the world, meeting new souls.

I will substitute sending emails with sending letters home and typing progress reports with typing stories and truths of the places I’ve been.

I will meet others and they will not all be dressed in business attire. Some will wear a sari and others will wear a shalwar kameez.

I will meet others who are familiar with food that I have never even seen.

I want the world to be my office so that rather than sitting through business meetings I can ask people to tell me their stories and turn them into poetry.

By sitting in an office every day, it is challenging to touch souls of all kinds.

That is why I need to travel the world.

I crave to touch souls who I do not yet know.

I will learn new languages so there will not be barriers between these other wonderful humans and me. I will go everywhere and love everyone.

The world will be my office. 

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Finding Home on a Holy Island

***originally posted on inwonderlandaly.com***

Every colour on Patmos is of the deepest hue. All things here are authentic and truthful.
The walls are a white that cleanses your soul, the flowers a pink that brightens your heart, and the leaves a green that invigorates your spirit.  

Here our feet are always bare: feeling, discerning, understanding this land with our soles.
Here our skins are our clothes, darkening and healing under the warm, amber embrace of the sun’s rays.
Here our mouths rest peacefully in simple smiles on our faces like hammocks tied to dimples.

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This island is the beginning and the end of everything. It is now and only now. Its oceans move with a current of divinity from the core of the earth. Their waters are clear with a presence that washes away your past and your future.


It is here that God uttered the words “I am the Alpha and the Omega” into existence. The beginning and the end meet in you and I. We are everything all at once and altogether nothing at all.

The Cave of The Apocalypse - here St. John received his visions and wrote the Book of Revelation, where he noted God saying "I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End."

The Cave of The Apocalypse - here St. John received his visions and wrote the Book of Revelation, where he noted God saying "I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End."

Smell it in the wild wind entangling your hair in salty, ocean laced breeze. See it in the fleeting shapes of sunlight cast on your skin through the swaying branches of the trees above. Feel it in the scratchy sand clinging to your toes, grounding you. Taste it in the vulnerability of the fresh, ripe fruit, mature but easily bruised.  Hear it in the grand crash of the waves on the sand, humbly rolling from the belly of Poseidon, his gentle hand gliding out to reach you on the shore. Remember this in every sunset and every sunrise. Whilst we whisper “goodnight” on this island, others elsewhere croak “goodmorning”. For every sun, a moon. For every night, a day. For every death, a birth.

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In this powerful presence love is magnified. Laughs hang suspended in the air for a few moments before dissolving. Hugs are held onto a few seconds longer. Everything is purposeful and beautiful. Friends become sisters. We run into the sunset to thank the universe for this great, big life. For each other. For the incidences of divine intervention that brought us all to this moment. Light floods over each of our bodies and fills us from the inside out.

We are together.

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We are whole.

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We are home.

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Source: inwonderlandaly.com