freedom within

there's a hole in my heart

and i can't find it.

it's empty. hidden behind a wall that continues growing, far from me, high within me. a wall of fantasy, where an alternative universe awaits me. 

but i'm scared. do i want to keep running? do i want to collide with the wall and fall in the hole of nightmares? is darkness my friend? who am i? 

and as i run towards the wall, as my blood mixes with the concrete... we explode. darkness comes sooner than expected and i'm far from the wall again... but there's no wall anymore. i'm on my own, like i've always been. 

my heart is full now. cured from the sickness of the lies i was telling myself. and i start to root and bloom like a flower in the middle of spring. pinks and red surround me as i dance, and i become one with the Earth that has given me a home and strength to carry on. 

and just as i start to smell the freshness of the leaves, i see the wall come towards me. 

the wall now has a name. it's no longer standing in my way, but it's holding my hand, it's breathing with me. the wall is me. 

so now we walk together. the wall and i. we are one. 

the wall is freedom.

i am free.  

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